Hey, let’s be rude about rich kids

I don’t tend to use this blog as a platform for having a go at people who are technically still children. It seems a bit, well, non-LD. Nor am I socialist enough to be gratuitously rude about rich people per se without a good reason. After all, many of my dearest friends are rich people. Damn them.

But the People’s Republic is in sore need of an easy target to break a recent bout of blogger’s block, and I’m willing to take a punt and say that Cheltenham Ladies’ College schoolgirls are almost certainly never going to be any of my favourite people. I can say this in safety at the grand old age of (now) twenty-nine since it is a statistical probability that I have already made the bulk of my best friends, and the chances of my having to make an embarrassing climb-down are remote (prove me wrong in the comments and see just how pink I can go). Furthermore, they make up a fabulously small and probably unremittingly Tory slice of the electorate. Plus, despite my rapid rate of ageing, I’m still in that perfect bracket where it’s permissible to have a go at young people and tell them they’re talking complete bull and not be accused of being a jealous, creaking old fartbag. No, on the whole, I am content to stand up and be counted as an enemy of Cheltenham Ladies’ College and all its works.

So, what the hell, I’m going to tear a strip off one of the simpering, over-entitled little madams for causing trees to be cut down in the cause of some self-absorbed ropey old toss called An A-Z of Teen Talk (as if any vaguely sentient person between the ages of 13 and 19 would ever describe themselves as a “teen”). How was this shocking waste of cultural brainspace allowed to happen? Apparently, she came up with the idea after her father claimed not to understand a word she and her sister were saying to each other. Somehow I find this really difficult to believe. It only takes a slightly enquiring mind to take on board new linguistic usages. My own father is currently in the habit of adding “an’ shit” onto the end of every sentence, after the Armstrong and Miller chav pilots sketches, and my mother works in Youth Services and collects new gems all the time – a recent favourite was “I mean like, go there, innit” which we agreed, over tea, to be an incredibly sophisticated construction whose interpretation is as follows:

My opinion is [filler] that one shouldn’t consider this course of action and I know it to be likely, given your various experiences in the area under discussion, that you agree [filler].

What marvellous economy and creativity went into producing that pared-down phrase. “Don’t go there” is already abstract slang – to trim it still further while retaining the meaning is a triumph of pithy sophistication. Simpering schoolgirl and I agree on that much at least.

In fact, that in itself gives me pause for thought – what normal child does this sort of thing? Whatever happened to alienation, disaffection, having your stomach pumped? Why is this chirpy media-friendly sprig embarking on a career as a by-the-till dross-spinner and beaming out of my broadsheet in a pretty polka-dot dress, rather than huddled up  on a beanbag clutching a bottle of Diamond White with over-mascara’d tears running over her pustules and plotting her revenge on an ungrateful world? I’ll tell you why, it’s because she’s a dangerously over-privileged poppet who already knows for an absolute fact that said world will never, ever shit on her. Oh bwahahaha, that’s like sooooo funny, it’s like sooo much of a like cultural trend, I should like sooooo write a book [upward emphasis].

So much for her stomach-churning good intentions to aid parental understanding. The underlying reality is of course a stone-hearted determination to keep herself in Accessorize goodies for life by publishing “updates” and probably, by and by, “commentating” on related yoof issues. Have you ever been in the Cheltenham branch of Accessorize? It is terrifying. They stop at nothing. Nothing. And nor will she. Your worldview will be contaminated with her complacent, self-important little rich girl chatter for years to come. You read it here first.


  1. Hah. You didn’t have to give your age if you were mentioning Diamond White for teenagers. I bet you even remember Blastaways…

    Go and see St Trinians. The girls of Cheltenham Ladies’ College are the baddies, and it has naked Colin Firth. It will cheer you up.

  2. Well hey, if we can’t be rude about rich kids then who can we be rude about?

    I never used to have much time for the notion that rich kids have horribly unfair advantages, mostly because a) doing anything about it is tremendously difficult and b) I’ve seen too many people give up because they believe that they’re suffering from unfairness, whilst others around them sail blissfully on, uncaring of the inequality and thus unencumbered by it.

    But, more recently, it has started to bother me. Maybe it’s the sight of one too many privileged young things gliding past me on the greased rail of parental wealth, or maybe it’s just a growing social conscience. I think it does have something to do with observing the fact that these idiot youngsters will grow into idiot adults and will continue to be successful in a manner which bears no relation to observable talent. And that’s a rather depressing thought for a Monday morning!

  3. Gah, rich kids.
    All kids are arrogant and/or ignorant as they’re still developing personality-wise – but it’s only rich ones that will do things like publish a book on such a non-topic. (Rather unfairly I class books written by this woman in the same category: http://www.vogue.co.uk/whos_who/Camilla_Morton/ – but then she’s a passing acquaintance, although she won’t know who I am!).
    I think it’s the sheer unfairness that produces the situation that the press somehow believes the inane ramblings of a rich kid are more newsworthy/important than the inane ramblings of any kid . . .

  4. I am a CLC girl, and for God’s sake, we are not like that at all. I’m in my fifth year at CLC, and we do not faff around Accessorize like that. Yes, the unfortunate few do believe they own the town, and we feel sorry for them. Mrs Tuck, our prinicpal, and the current head of the Girl’s Schools Association, nurtures in us a respect and morality that doesn’t even border on what you’ve mentioned in your article.

  5. I am an also a CLC girl.
    The girl who wrote this book is a personal friend.
    To be honest, this rant seems like petty jealousy of the small success of a youg girl, and you are using her “rich” and “privileged” status as a reason for you ripping her apart.

    She wasn’t even at Cheltenham Ladies’ College when she wrote this book, it was published in the holidays before she joined the school.
    I am not a rich kid. my parents sacrifice a lot so they can send me to a school which they believe will make me into a well rounded person.
    Your comments are massive generalisations which only apply to a select few of the pupils at our school, as they would to a few students at any private school.

  6. To point out the obvious, all people choosing to attack the ‘rich kids’ and ‘the Cheltenham Ladies College’ are as obvious not a member of the school or in the same circumstances..

    Comments made by these attackers are all prejudgemental and making such harsh comments about a lifestyle without experiencing such is incredibly prejudice..

    These ‘rich kids’ spend a vast amount of time supporting charities and try to narrow the gaps between your believed classes, treating others in a moral way and equally just look at there headmistress..

    All I see other members of the community doing is bitching, and acting in jealous ways. I find this incredibly hypocritical. If a girl publishes a ‘bad book’ then people don’t have to buy it, just because its been published.. I find this specially hypocritical from somebody who publishes a narrow minded and counterfactual blog on a topic that they have only speculated from one side..

    If a blog status had the title ‘Hey, lets be rude about poor kids’ I doubt it would be posted for very long until someone would have to take it down.

    Currently more university places are being given to students coming from state school to make the education ‘more fair’ making students who have worked incredibly hard from public school work twice as hard to get the place, because a good education is now viewed as too big a privilage.

    Not to mention the level of difficulties of exams boards drastically vary (there was an article about the possibility of making a single exam board for all student which I am incredibly supportive of).
    Students studying at highly rated public schools are obliged to take the most difficult exam board for their subjects, which universities do not take into account making public school students work even harder, once again for the A* and a place at there particular university.

    To add to this, public school students also endure the same teenage issues such as peer pressure, eating disorders, sex and drinking pressure ect..

    True they may have a few more clothes, maybe a nicer phone.. but this doesn’t mean that you should sit there judging them. They do a hell of a lot more than you.. writing your blogs.

    But to add to all of this public school endure the shadows of achieving parents and the pressure of expectations or perfection. They are obliged to meet the high aims of parents and are pushed to limits literally.

    Maybe its time that people not in such circumstances as students studying at the cheltenham ladies college get a backbone and start to push your own way to success.. its not impossible maybe instead of writing your blogs of complaints you should try harder..

    These public school girls are a lot more content then you because we do not linger in self pity, They are strong and challenge themselves. They do not wallow in jealousy and hope for the failure of others but the improvement of themselves even if it is just writing a book, its the feeling of self achievement they strike for..

    So I think it may be time for you blog writers to grow up.. to try and do something with yourselves instead of sitting scowling at the world in jealousy. Don’t be so pathetic to blame your misfortunes on others.. why don’t you do something for once?

  7. The four richest persons in the world are worth billions. Yes, that’s billions, having a “b.” How about millionaires? What do they do? I know a few of them myself, so I can tell you that most of them are enterprise owners. They personal nursing homes, logging organizations, tile firms, movie rental shops, as well as other sorts of businesses. Some of them even personal household based businesses.

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